I'm not updating this anymore.. getting a new xanga.

Still checking subs with this though.

After stressing out so much this term about everything under the great blue sky, I finally feel like I have some time to rest.

A lot has changed.  A lot has stayed the same.  I can't really tell.  I've been sleeping earlier, staying online less, and doing much more work.  This semester feels better than the last.. somewhat I suppose.  I guess I've been worried about much different things this term.  All my life it feels like I've been chasing after a certain boy, or begging my parents for a certain pet, but now I'm more concentrated on my future and what lies ahead.  Grad school's been on my mind quite often, I don't know how much I want to be a vet anymore.  I still want to take care of animals, but I don't know if I could handle another four years away at college.. away from my friends and family.

I'm really thankful for the way things have gone for me.  I'm really grateful for the few people I can literally run and cry to when I feel overwhelmed.  I'm also thankful that they don't think I'm insane by now.. not all the time anyway.

Security.  It's what everyone wants; it's what everyone needs.  It seems like everyone just wants to know.  Who they'll marry, how much they'll make, how happy they'll be... it takes patience to figure out these answers.. and you can't just look for them.
Just sit back, look up, and ask.  The answers will come eventually.

"Valentine's Day".  It's a "holiday" that many people dread each year, even ones with significant others.  It's a time when many people feel like they're alone or unwanted.

That brings up the topic of February 13, the day before Valentine's Day.  On February 13, dozens of people all over commit suicide just because they feel unloved.  That's right, "feel".  I know everybody gets that feeling once in a while, a feeling when you're depressed and nothing seems to be going your way and you just wish someone would care about you.

But someone does care about you.  Lots of people do, actually.
You have to let them love you.

"But I need you to love me,
And I, I won't keep my heart from you this time.
And I'll stop this pretending that I can,
Somehow deserve what I already have
I need you to love me"

So on February 13, show someone that you care about them.  Maybe get your parents a Valentine; get a gift for your brother or sister.  Give someone a hug.  Everyone needs love in their life.

I figured out the true meaning of love:

Love is wanting to be with someone for eternity.

Just think, do you love your friends? Yes, because you want to stay close to them forever.  Same goes for any other sort of love.  Jesus's top commandment is to love everyone around you.. meaning if they share in God's love then you'll be with them for eternity.  I'm not trying to be all religious when I say it, I'm just backing up my reasoning.
So the same goes for the opposite sex.  If you don't see a lifetime with them, it's hard to call it "love"... because it's "til death do us part".  To love someone is to want to spend a lifetime with them.  Otherwise, it's just "like" - to have an interest or to be infatuated.

I guess I just pieced together that meaning just now.
For eternity... that's what real love is.

It's all a test of faith.  It's a test of strength, character, and love.  Can we rise up above and do what's right for once?

I guess life is always "easier said than done".  Ideas always seem perfect within the confines of one's mind, but when put to the test, there's a good chance of it burning to the ground.  There are so many "ideal"s and "perfect"s, but are they really possible?  Is it possible to walk with God without stumbling once at all?  Nobody's perfect, but the least we can do is try to be what He wants us to be.